Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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