a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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