Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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