she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize