covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Randomize
