Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
farters have to be the big spoon...
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Drunk is not a location!
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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