my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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