i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
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