Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize