I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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