hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize