Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
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I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
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Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
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