You just made me feel so damn special
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
well you can't waste a boner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize