Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
this just has baby written all over it
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
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