I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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