Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
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