After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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