And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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