well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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