sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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