I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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