Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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