you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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