I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
What a dumb baby whore.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They took my balls.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize