Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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