Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize