I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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