i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Randomize