we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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