I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize