just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize