and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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