True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
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the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
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I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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