She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
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Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
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Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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