And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
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