Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize