i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Randomize