I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
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We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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