i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
smell my finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
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