We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize