Soap is not a condiment
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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