covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
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