no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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