I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
You've changed since you got that strap on
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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