I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize