Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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