ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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