I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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