i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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