You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
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